What Happened to Judith Jane? (I)

 

I. Judith is Missing

On the dreaded night of June 25th, 2019, Judith Eleanor Jane vanished without a trace. Four years quickly went by after the woman’s mysterious disappearance. Judith’s heartbroken friends never learned what happened to her. Her missing person’s case file went cold, tossed into a raggedy box and stored away in a dingy room with other missing cold case files. On the night Judith disappeared she had been out with work colleagues bar hopping to celebrate her recent promotion. Judith had invited her close friend Esme to come with, but the woman declined, even after persistent pleading on Judith’s behalf. She wasn’t the social butterfly type like her friend Judith was. Esme was a wallflower and had always been since the day she and Judith met. High energy social events made her deathly anxious. Although Esme was flattered Judith wanted her along for the ride, it just wasn’t for her. But had Esme known Judith wouldn’t have returned home that night, she would have gone with her friend and toughed it out to ensure her safety. Every June 25^ththat rolled around became more difficult for Esme to handle because a part of her died when Judith vanished. 

“…you think, Esme?” Camille asked, stirring Esme from pensive thoughts. She hadn’t been present in the conversation for the last twenty minutes. 

Esme rubbed her eyes until she saw colors and shapes. “I’m-I’m sorry… Wh-what did you ask me just now?” She blinked several times in rapid succession. 

Andre laughed at his confused friend. “Always with your head in the clouds, huh Esme?” The group had been discussing Judith. Esme became emotional hearing her missing friend’s name haunting her ears. She didn’t like talking about Judith anymore and always tuned her friends out when they brought her up. That time, however, she wasn’t able to weasel her way out of the conversation. 

Camille laid her head on Andrew’s shoulder. The pair were engaged to be married soon and were longtime friends of Esme’s from their college days. It was the couple who introduced Esme and Judith. When they first met, Esme was drawn to Judith immediately. She described the attraction like a boat being drawn out by the ocean tides. As the years went on, Esme preferred spending time with Judith in lieu of Andrew and Camille. “I’m still in awe it’s been four years now.” She sighed deeply. “I wish we knew what happened to her. I hope… I really hope she’s okay wherever she is…” Camille looked out the window watching the rainfall as she reflected on her fond memories of Judith. 

Slowly, Esme began dissociating from the conversation again. She just wanted to treat that June 25th like every other day out of the year, but her friends insisted on talking about Judith. She became agitated, though kept her feelings buried. 

“Yo, everyone!”  Brandon came up to the table huffing and puffing and drenched in rain. Camille asked why he was so out of breath. “Because I made the idiotic decision to take my scooter today instead of my car.” He chuckled with embarrassment. Esme moved over so Brandon could sit.  “Thank you. Thank you. Hope you're doing well today, Esme." He addressed in a kind tone, reaching out and tweaking her nose. 

The friendship between Esme and Brandon had previously been on the rocks. Before Judith went missing, she and the guy were involved in a sexual relationship. Esme didn’t have sexual or romantic feelings for Judith and never did. She was just territorial when it came to her friend. There had been many times where Esme’s jealousy of Judith’s other relationships nearly came between them. Her intense love for the woman bordered on obsession at moments which turned her friend group off from her during those episodes. Esme clung to Judith like a shadow, like a leech. But after Judith’s disappearance, Esme’s demeanor towards Brandon softened. They became close while mourning the woman they both loved.

“I’m doing all right. Glad you made it to us safely. You know how people in Orangeboro drive when it rains.” The table laughed. “How are you doing today, Brandon?” 

His smile shrank. "Same as always when June 25th rolls around." He answered in a sullen tone. Esme patted Brandon’s hand.  He, Camille, and Andrew resumed the conversation about Judith while Esme mentally checked out. Her gaze returning to the window. “You know, sometimes I wonder if Judith really is missing.” Silence fell over the table. Camille, Andrew, and Esme stared at Brandon with bemused expressions. 

Esme’s head tilted, puzzled. "What... What makes you even think to say that?” 

Brandon began shifting in his seat. His nervous eyes looked everywhere but at Esme, who wondered what information on Judith he was hiding, if he was hiding any. "I-I promised Judith I wouldn't say anything about it..." That was at the time. Given that Judith had been missing for five years, keeping the secret didn’t matter anymore. Brandon finally revealed to the group that one night when he and Judith were drinking and getting high, she confided in him about wanting to leave Orangeboro for a while. “Her mind wasn’t made up. At least…at the time it wasn’t.” The poor job market and lack of excitement in the city made her depressed. Judith felt like her city had nothing else to offer her. She told Brandon she "didn't want to die in a miserable place like this."

The new information changed everything. Maybe Judith didn’t go missing involuntary. Maybe it was intentional on her part. The trio were livid with Brandon for sitting on the secret for five years. “And why the hell would you wait so long to tell us this?” Camille’s brown eyes became darker from her change in mood. She felt deceived by both Brandon and Judith. Brandon reminded her that he promised not to tell. "I mean, yeah, at the time that was fine, but-but when she disappeared, you should have said something. Damn that promise you made!" 

“I don’t understand why she would even keep that a secret from us?” Andrew looked around the table baffled. Judith was an adult. Had she wanted to leave (if she did), no one, other than Esme, would have been mad at her. And if sparing Esme’s feelings was the reason behind the secret, no one could have stopped her from leaving. Not even Esme herself. 

Brandon regret opening his mouth, especially when attacked by Esme who nearly jumped down his throat over it. “Your answer?” She glared at him with fiery eyes. Esme was trying to remain calm, but she just couldn’t. Her tight fists wanted to sock Brandon in his jaw so badly. All those times they cried about Judith's disappearance together and reminisced on their favorite memories, Brandon was sitting on crucial information.

Brandon gulped, revealing the answer. The reason was Esme. “Judith was afraid you would guilt trip her into staying here if she tried to leave. And she knew it would have worked on her too.” Both voice and gaze lowered.

Devastation rocked Esme’s world like a violent earthquake. She even felt the world around her spinning but quickly realized it was a bout of dizziness from the shock. From where Esme stood, it seemed like Judith thought of her as an anchor rather than a life raft. The painful fact Judith confided in Brandon instead of her when they always told the other everything, nearly crippled her. Tears began swelling in the eyes of a heartbroken Esme. She felt betrayed. 

"Oh, Esme-" Camille reached for her hand, but Esme rudely snatched away. Being touched, even by a friend, was the last thing Esme wanted. She needed space. She wanted to go home.

“I’m headed home.” Esme addressed the table. She asked to be let out of the booth, trying to sound polite as possible even though Brandon was undeserving of it. He didn’t move immediately. Brandon tried convincing Esme to stay and talk out her feelings. She responded by lashing out verbally. “You need to move. Now!” A few bar patrons turned around and looked at Esme wondering what her problem was. Esme was mortified. She understood how fish in aquariums felt with all eyes focused on her.

Brandon slid out of the booth. He continued trying to reason with a stubborn Esme. "Esme, look, I'm-I'm sorry... I know you're pissed, but please don't resent Judith over a silly secret. She wasn’t trying to hurt you or make you out to be the bad woman. That’s how life is. People outgrow things and look for something new.” Esme was well aware of all that, but it still stung. It still hurt like a stab through the heart. How Judith went about the entire thing still wasn’t right. 

Camille jumped up and grabbed Esme’s wrist before she fled the bar. "You're still coming out with us tonight, right?" Every year on June 25^th, the quartet held a vigil in Judith’s honor followed by partying up at her favorite bar, Night Rouge, in her memory. Ironically, it was the same place Judith was last seen at before she disappeared. To everyone’s disappointment, Esme opted out of going that year. She wasn’t in the mood to celebrate Judith anymore over what she perceived as a betrayal. Esme wanted to be alone and sulk at home. “Go on without me.” She mumbled. 

Esme was booed by her friends. "Grow the hell up, Esme!" She was scolded by Camille. "Don't make Judith's day about you. Be mad about it tomorrow. You know how much this means to us and what it means to her." Esme yanked her arm from Camille’s grasp, much to the woman's shock. 

Brandon pleaded with Esme to reconsider not going. "Judith is-was your best friend. Esme, don't spit on her memory like this. We don't even know if she disappeared on her own or if something truly out of her control happened to her." Brandon was right; Esme knew that. And yet, she was still caught up in her own emotions and feelings to the point it clouded her reasoning. If she bailed on their annual tradition, she would regret it later. 

In the end, Esme stood firm on her decision, choosing selfishness over honoring Judith. She apologized to her friends and headed for the door, ignoring their pleas.

 

By the third hour, Esme's foul mood showed no signs of waning. She spent her entire evening (and much of her energy) brooding on the floor of her apartment living room. Brandon and the others made several attempts to reach her, but Esme just turned off her phone. She was driven crazy by the incessant buzzing and vibrating.

As the night continued, Esme's resentment towards Judith intensified. She began wondering if Judith's disappearance was intentional as she reflected on what Brandon told her earlier. Did Judith truly move on her desire to start over elsewhere? The question made Esme’s blood boil thinking about it. Her already stormy mood worsened. 

“Why would you leave me behind…?” Esme sobbed into her knees. She kept asking the question until her voice went hoarse from the crying. “Judith…” When the pain became unbearable, Esme decided to quell her feelings at the mouth of a bottle. And just like that, two years of sobriety went out the window. Esme’s past drinking problem never spilled over into full blown alcoholism. She had, however, been terrifyingly close on many instances. Only Judith's love and support kept Esme from drowning in her vice. She got her drinking under control, thankfully. But since Judith's disappearance, her bad habits began to resurface. 

Before midnight, nearly sixteen ounces of vodka was gone. In a half seated, half slumped over position against the sofa, Esme began drifting in and out of consciousness. She looked absolutely pitiful. Judith would have been disheartened to see her friend in such an unbecoming state. But Esme didn't care. She wouldn’t have cared what Judith thought of her since Judith was the reason behind her relapse. The blame was all Judith’s for breaking Esme’s heart when she abandoned her. Everything was Judith's fault.

Esme, drunk, lost her battle with the alcohol. A wave of sleep overcame her. As Esme blinked in and out, she saw a visage of Judith standing in the doorway, shaking her head disapprovingly.

Author's Note: For the ones who read the initial published chapter, I'm re-releasing chapter one because I'm going to jump back into this story and finally complete it while also working on other stories I've been neglecting. I've been locked in with my writing as of late and feel very motivated. Also, this story is my shortest story compared to the others that will be published over the year. It's only 4 chapters. I've screwed around too long and need to complete it. I've also decided to change some things around. Thank you. I apologize for the multiple inconsistencies (severely ADHD).